Are You looking For Answers, or To Be “Right”?

Hmm.  Where’s that question coming from?  I’m going a little deep today.  Better than off the deep-end.  Some observations I felt led to share… my hope is it touches even just one reader…

In coaching many DCs in practice, and directing hundreds prior to opening their own practice, I’ve identified a “theme” that recurs, not often thankfully, but recurs nonetheless.

It has to do with a person, we’ll call him “Ralph”, who is faced with some problem that has yet to be overcome.  He has already figured out the reason for his failure, or so he is convinced… at least at first. 

What I mean is I believe Ralph truly is convinced about “why” something is as it is, why something won’t work, or why he hasn’t been able to overcome… but there comes a time in coaching that it becomes obvious, maybe to everyone but Ralph, that he is so hellbent on defending his “reasons”, he would rather be “right” than embrace a solution and move forward.

It’s rather fascinating to ponder… I suppose we all might have weak moments when we’re guilty of such behavior.  But whether of pychological or spiritual origin, I wonder why certain, otherwise highly intelligent people embrace this Victim mentality… “I’m going to continue to fail, and here’s why”.

As one of my mentor’s has said, those who fail will always make excuses… or what they’ll refer to as “Reasons”.  We all get knocked down, we all face adversity, we all will find ourselves in a place where the answer is not readily apparent… No one is exempt from these moments.  It’s part of life, isn’t it?

But doggone it, do not stay there.  It may take work and searching for wisdom to figure your way out…The questions to ask yourself include, “Okay, now that I’m here, what next?”  “What’s my next step to put the failure behind me and to overcome?”  And when someone in-the-know is throwing you a lifeline with “Solution” stamped all over it, don’t be so proud, or bitter, or strangely comfortable in this role that you cling to your “Reasons”, choosing to remain a victim rather than climb out of the muck.  

Maybe the most interesting (and telling) of these cases is when the stated ”reason” for failure changes… just kindof morphs into something else… as solution after solution is offered. 

Here’s one example.  Dr. Ralph has too many of his new patients (most who truly need care) opt against care, or they discontinue their treatment prematurely. 

Dr. Ralph has it figured out… he must be charging too much.  “I’m pricing myself out of the market” he claims.   Interesting that other doctor’s in markets with nearly identical demographics to Ralph’s charge just as much or more for their care… but he is convinced.  He has his reason, and he’s sticking to it. 

With a little checking,  it turns out, Ralph has difficulty communicating the value of care to his patients… often a symptom that he himself is not very confident in what he offers. 

Well, how about working on that?  Ralph, what value do YOU place on the care you provide your patients?  How about comparing the ”life-changing” care you offer to a few hours spent in the ER for a kidney stone ($6,400… never mind this was not treatment of the stone, just diagnostics and some pain meds).  How about the cost of braces?… how much will a parent, in your community, plunk down to have wires fastened to their kids’ teeth… largely for cosmetic reasons mind you, not truly “health” related?… Between $4,000 and $6,000?  

What’s the cost of surgery on a wrist, or on the spine?  Surgeries which YOUR care might prevent!  I don’t know… what can your care enable people to do again??  What will it save them from??  Is it worth it to them??

“Well, that’s not it”, he says, “I do value my care, but my patients won’t”.  He’s convinced.  And the problem has bled over into all areas of his starving practice, because he defends this scenario, “even if people come in, they won’t value my care enough to actually pay for it.”  Bad place to be, concept-wise.

Okay then, if you won’t go there doc, how about this?…  let’s work out some new financial options your office can offer, allowing patients to receive your care while making more ”affordable” payments.

Problem solved, right?  I mean, if the whole issue of poor acceptance is monetary, than this should be the solution, right? (or at minimum, will offer many more patients the flexibility to work payments into a doable budget).

Nope.  Not this time.  His “reason” just morphed… did you see it happen?   Quick as Optimus Prime into a semi (my kid loves Transformers).  And it doesn’t really matter what it’s morphed into… it might be, ”Well, you know I’m really more of a “pain relief” doctor, and I don’t understand what “treatment for condition” nor what “wellness” are all about“.  Or it might have become, ”Well, you’re Italian and I’m Irish, so that solution won’t work” (what??)  Or, whatever… and what really just happened is, Ralph was never really looking for an answer anyway, because it might involve moving out of his comfort zone, and worse yet, would mean he’s no longer ”Right”. 

So here’s a question for you… is there an area in your life where you see yourself as a Victim? 

Do you have “reasons” for why you haven’t overcome? 

 Or, do you rather see yourself as Responsible, knowing with the right direction and the right wisdom applied, you will, without a doubt, no matter what your present circumstance, rise above any setback or “failure” you experience?  Are you looking for answers, or to be ”Right”?